Annie Hall: So I told her about, about the family and about my feelings towards men and about my relationship with my brother. And then she mentioned penis envy. Do you know about that?
Alvy Singer: Me? I'm, I'm one of the few males who suffers from that.
Our good friend Freewheel alerts his readers to a, er, growing phenomenon in Republican circles known in the medical profession as Tiny Penis Syndrome. Given how widespread this affliction is among those who are currently in control of our country, it behooves us all to familiarize ourselves with some of its more common manifestations.
TPS sufferers are most commonly and easily identified by their propensity for swaggering arrogance that has no identifiable basis or justification. Behold:
Victims of this terrible malady also seem driven to claim exclusive alliance with powerful entities such as the US Military or God. They have an obsessive fondness for weaponry, especially "big guns" and, while studiously avoiding circumstances which might result in themselves being placed in harm's way, are the most ardent advocates of sending others off to deploy such weapons. They reserve their strongest rage for women who dare to be sexual or, in fact, powerful in any way. Researchers are scrambling to find a cure and are hopeful that advances in new stem cell technology may yield results. Meanwhile it is incumbent upon the rest of us to practice tolerance and understanding for our stricken brethren. Their plight is truly "sad."